Dark(en) Empty (A sad poem)

(A drowning...)

It is dark, it is raining, 
it is cold, I am alone. 
I cry, I scream, I tear apart 
in the quiet of the night. 
I fall apart 
against this wall, 
against that wall. 
I am human, but it sucks 
to feel all that I feel. 
It sucks to be alive, 
this moment. 
So, take me! 
I cry: 
take me now! Take me away! 
Nobody listens, nobody listens. 
Nobody takes me. 
I slide to the floor, 
I break, I break. 
It is a dark day for my heart, 
an even darker night: 
my mind takes me 
this way and that way, 
my mind kills me— 
it has no off switch, 
it plays no sweet tune, 
and yet, it quiets not. 
It eats me, my mind, 
it kills me. 
And yet, I am it, oh, 
I am my mind. 
And I am my thoughts. 
And my thoughts 
become my feelings. 
But I refuse to be 
my feelings. 
I refuse to be  
this sadness, this pain, 
this endless torment, 
this hell, this hell, this loop 
of insanity, upon insanity! 

And yet, as it rains, 
as the darkness 
thickens, emboldens, 
as the cold whips, 
I am a sad man, 
I am a broken man, 
I am a tormented soul. 

Alone, 
quiet, 
and empty, 
but for all I am, 
this night, 
I rain. 
I rain. 
My storms 
drown me. 

©benielangat, 2021. 

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Photo by Mariana Montrazi from Pexels