My reflection smiled as I gazed before leaving;
There was something in those eyes, something
That was unlike me, something that was them
More, a smile like theirs, this night of theirs.
The door anticipated my exit more than I—
No time to waste, the world awaits; it waits
For nobody, yet it anticipates my coming
More than my door, more than my soul…
O’, but there was nothing in the world
For me; In no place, with no person did I fit.
With a sad heart, full of regret and hate,
I return to the place I am home and whole.
The door anticipates my coming, it waits,
Like my bed does, like a hot bath does;
O’, whisky alone, dancing alone, singing…
Like the only thing that matters is “now.”
It was all that mattered, and I knew
That underneath all the giving, the losing,
There was something; I saw something
Beneath the fakeness of life—a true me.